The markings on your surface. Your speckled face, yeah large crystals hang from your ears. Are they here. I couldn’t gauge your feelings
I can’t relate to my peers, I’d rather live outside. I’d rather kill my pride then lose my mind. Maybe I’m a fool, and maybe I should move. We’re two kids and a swimming pool. I’m not ready. So what would you recommend I do? I’m living, yes. Forgetting this is a cold world, no. I’m living in an ideal, an idea from another man’s mind. I’d rather go to jail, I’d rather try hell. Or I could be a fool, and settle, for a place with a nice view. a very nice view. But I guess I would do anything for you. Yes you. I would do anything for you. anything.
Friday, 15 November 2013
Just the other day I caught myself thinking back on our old times together. And just like that, it hit me. That nostalgic feeling. It’s weird now, I used to hurt over you, and now as the days pass by I’m showing no symptoms. Sure I miss you, but I now realize it’s time. Just a week ago you left Tiffany & Co. on my doorstep. I picked up, smiled and looked back on our times together. Of course it hurt, but I knew better.
There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t stop to think about you, but as the days go by it’s slowly beginning to fade. And when that day comes, I won’t have to hold on to these memories anymore. Because I know someone out there will bring you memories worth remembering. He’ll make you feel beautiful.
I like this feeling, I feel free. It’s like I completely destroyed myself over the summer and created something new, a new image. More friends, more laughs, more smiles. I’m enjoying myself and I know this is what you wanted for me.
If you’re wondering, I’ve been with Sadie, lately. Just her and I against the world. I’m also getting the feel of Instagram & Twitter (and of course these letters). I’ve been really busy lately, especially with school. So sorry If I haven’t been posting much about my conditions or terms. But when I get the chance, i’ll be sure to write you.
Today is Friday, and tomorrow is GT. My beautiful date and I will be heading down to Santa Cruz, have a couple drinks, dinner, and just enjoying the evening and the rest of the night. I know this will fun. I shall thank her for this.
This suit is Givenchy
This is the end of this letter.
Do you like anyone atm?
Perhaps crushing yeah.
You’re hurting, you’re confused, you feel your world is crashing down on you as if there is nothing left to lose. You question your existence and ponder what it would be like to end it all, to take the easy way out just to stop the pain. So overwhelming isn’t it? So dark. I’ve been there.
For the first time in 4 years, I watched my closest friend break down, I saw it all. Today I saw him at his worse, it was such an ugly thing to observe. Yet I still think you’re beautiful. It was an uncomfortable experience, same room, yet I felt a great distance between us. I had no idea what was going through his head, no expressions. Although I spoke, and tried my best to interpret his state of mind, I felt useless. I felt as if I were pushed away. I was. I only know this because I saw my very own reflection.
I was in his shoes before. I’ve gone through this same experience in my past relationship. Her and I were in love, or at least that’s what we thought. But things change, people change, I changed. I put myself at a distant from her and the world, when in reality, what I needed was standing in front of me all along. I was just too blind to see, too deaf to listen, and now i’m too broken. I loved her. I miss her.
Watching my friend upset today, it hit me. I felt as if I relived it. and so I daydream.
Don’t wake me up please.
This is the end of this letter.